Adversities

I just wanted to take a moment to share this quote from Joseph B Wirthlin:
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.
I don't think there's anything else to say about that.

Cookies, cookies, cookies!

Today I spent a large part of my day baking cookies!  I love this time of year, and love baking cookies (although I hate it at the same time).  Turns out it's even more crazy and messy when you have a 4 year old under foot!  I made Chocolate Cherry Rice Krispies Treats, spritz cookies, molasses cookies, and peanut butter cookies.  Sometime in the next 48 hours, I'll also be making oatmeal cookies (and I have the BEST recipe ever!), oatmeal scotchies, and those peanut butter ones with the Reese's PB Cups on top.  Yum! 
I found it absolutely hilarious, and rather fitting, that the ONLY thing that could draw Camille away from the excitement in the kitchen was when that old Christmas song came on-I'm Getting Nothing For Christmas.  You know, I'm gettin' nuttin' fer Christmas, cuz I ain't been nuttin but bad...Literally the second she heard it, she ran into the family room (where the music was playing) and peeked around the corner at the TV for the entire song!  It was so adorable.

Okay, just for the record, I cannot STAND the Simpsons, so I apologize that they are in this clip.  But it was the only real version of the song I could find!  Enjoy!

Book of Mormon challenge!

Someone challenged me yesterday to read the entire Book of Mormon in the month of December.  I accepted, and am looking forward to it!  I would like to pass the challenge on to any who happen to come across my blog for whatever reason.  There's a great website I found http://www.ldsscripturetools.com/ that will calculate which chapters you need to read each day to accomplish this. 
So last night I began with 1 Nephi 1-10.  Today I'm reading 1 Nephi 11-16.  I'm so excited about this, and I hope others join me in this!

When I say 'I am a Christian'

I came across this poem today, and thought is was so beautiful, I had to share.

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"

I'm whispering, "I get lost!
That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I don't speak with human pride

I'm confessing that I stumble-
needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak

and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian,"

I'm not bragging of success

I'm admitting that I've failed
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I don't think I know it all

I submit to my confusion
asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not claiming to be perfect

My flaws are far too visible
but God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartache
which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I do not wish to judge

I have no authority--
I only know I'm loved

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer

Our new floor!

This is the best before picture I could find.  I forgot to take one before we pulled the carpet out.

The bare floor

In progress...

And at about 3:00 this morning....the last plank!

It's finally finished!

Finding the joys in our trials

One of the things that really stands out to me from my TOFW experience was watching a brief video at the very beginning of women stating things that they knew.  Many different women, many different things.  One woman said that she knew that the reason she wasn't chosen to be a mother in this life is because she has other things she needs to work on more.  The thought struck me-she is already such a perfect mother that God is giving her an opportunity to improve in other areas first. 
It's no secret that I've been wanting more children for the past 4 years.  I have 2 beautiful daughters, whom I love so much.  But I also love the other children that I know are meant to be a part of my family as well.  I've had people tell me to just be thankful that at least I have children, when there are so many women who can't even have 1!  The feelings of guilt that come to any women experiencing secondary infertility who hears that are indescribable.  I am so thankful for my daughters.  They are such a joy to me.  But they can't replace the children I haven't had yet.  I would compare that to losing a child, and someone saying-"Well, at least you have 2 other kids to love!"  One child can't replace another.
So through this trial of secondary infertility, it became clear that I had other things to work on.  I'm not a perfect mother, by any means.  But I've gotten to a point that I'm doing okay there and need to focus on other areas for a time. 
Another difficulty I've had is in watching so many women around me be pregnant.  Again, the pain at seeing so many "accidents" and tears of sorrow as a result is just indescribable.  I seriously used to wonder if God was playing some kind of sick joke on me.  And then it hit me-God isn't punishing me.  He is giving me a gift.  Because He knows of my desire for another child, and He also knows it isn't the right time to send more spirits to our earthly family, He has given me the gift of being able to watch so many women experience the joy and pain of pregnancy, and watch all these precious souls come to Earth, and learn and grow.  He has given me the gift of being a second, or even third, mother to these children, given me the gift of having the opportunity to give my love to them.  It's a gift He gave me to help me through this challenging time in my life. 
I'm so thankful for the trials I have in my life, and for the lessons that come from them.  For the appreciation they give me for what I have and where I'm at, and for the person they mold me into.  If my life were easy, I'd never find any joy in it.

As I enter the last 30 days of being in my 20s....

My wonderful BFFs, Shelly and Amy, and I have a new tradition we started last year of going out for a GNO (Girls Night Out, for those of you not in the know!) sometime in November to celebrate our birthdays.  Shelly's is the end of October, Amy's is early November, mine is early December.  This upcoming birthday has been a tough one for me, as I will be turning 30 this year.  I've been having a difficult time coming to terms with that, especially since there is so much I feel like I have yet to accomplish, and hoped to have done so by now! 

So a couple weeks ago, Shelly emailed us to set up our Birthday GNO, and we decided that tonight would be the best night for it.  The plan was to go to the Olive Garden for dinner, and then go see a movie.  I got to the Olive Garden at the appointed time.  I was pleasantly surprised to see Amy sitting there with several other friends of ours.  My initial thought was "Cool, they're eating dinner here tonight too.  What a coincidence!"  I walk in, and everyone yells "SURPRISE!"  Still doesn't hit me.  I'm thinking "Okay, why are they yelling surprise at me?  Just to be silly, because they're all here too?"  And then I see birthday gifts.  Still doesn't hit me.  "I wonder why they have gifts?"  And then a feeling of complete dread falls over me. 

Shortly thereafter, Shelly comes in-with a massive bunch of balloons!!  And of course there was the obligatory Server birthday song at the end of our meal.  I think my face was a little red. 

So all in all, it was a bit mortifying...but it was touching and heartwarming to know how much my friends love me, and seeing the evidence of that, and that they wanted to make this a special, happy thing for me.  I will always remember these angels in my life, helping me through a difficult time, taking the time to show me that I am loved.  Thank you, everyone, for a wonderful evening.